Outdoors!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Rains bring nostalgia. They also bring fond memories of childhood. At least for me.

Today, as it rained in the evening and I stood in the balcony, enjoying the fresh air. As the petrichor wafted through my senses, I floated back to the past.

Where I come from, rains used to be a welcome relief after the sweltering summer heat. It meant cooler days and the prospect of playing outdoors again.

Not that we children were stopped by the heat to play outdoors. But the play time used to be limited in those months, as most kids were bound inside or traveling during the holidays.

Another factor adding to the fun used to be the timing of our schools, with the initial few weeks of a new session relatively easier to deal with. So, everyone had more time on their hands, and no pressure of tests.

We used to get wet in the rain playing football. Cycles zooming past the by-lanes, riding around was another fun activity. And even though we would get drenched quite often, we enjoyed those days.

So, while winters used to be the prime time for sports and a lot of other activities, rainy season had its own charm. And something to maximise for, in our dictionaries.

Cut to today, I didn’t see any kid playing outside in our community. In fact in my previous ones as well. They were all playing inside, in the games room and were not happy about it. But probably conditioned by their families to not get wet, they were reluctant to venture out.

As I observed them, I realised that we as parents are creating too many boundaries for our kids. We are constantly policing their whereabouts, instructing them to not do anything that we won’t like to do ourselves.

In fact, a lot of kids don’t even come to play outdoors now. Because they have classes at that time. Engaged in extra curricular activities, they rarely experience the joys of being outdoors.

I believe that is a big reason why kids today are more awkward socially than we were. We are restricting them from free flowing natural and serendipitous interactions, and instead creating too many structured paths for them.

Structure is good. In its limits. For, we don’t know how the world will pan out in the next five years, forget in a decade or two.

On the other hand, outdoors teach kids things that they wouldn’t learn in a classroom. Behaviours and attitudes reflect naturally in a field. And playing together creates bonds and memories that last for a lifetime.

By not letting our young ones outdoors, we are putting a lot of pressure on them to succeed in a chaotic future world that will behave randomly and with new rules. Or maybe with none…

Close Enough.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Adil was waiting impatiently. He had been waiting for this moment for a long time now.

As his anticipation rose, he realised he was breathing heavily. He took a small pause, slowed down his breathing and calmed his nerves. After all, years of practice had made him aware of how to control his body’s rhythms.

The list of new players who had made it to the national team was being announced now. It was in alphabetical order so his name would have been second.

The selector announced the first, second, and third name. Adil thought his name must be lower down, ordered by his last name. After a while, that illusion too shattered.

He had not been selected. After being a star player for his state team, and earning praise from the national team captain and a couple of selectors, he still wasn’t good enough.

When you’re good but not enough to cross over, doubts flood your mind. What else can I do to make this happen? Am I doomed to ignominy? Am I not good enough?

Adil sat with these thoughts through the next few days. His coach, family, friends, and teammates all expressed solidarity with him. Yet, his pain was his alone to live with…

A couple of weeks passed. The thought kept ringing in his ears. He had taken time off from regular practice and had been sitting idle. His parents pushed him to restart once, but seeing his mood, thought it’s better to let him fight this.

Then, on a friday, as they were at the mosque for their afternoon prayers, Adil saw a senior player from the national team. He knew him well, so he waved to him and sought some time to speak with him.

The two decided to go for lunch and Adil beared his heart out in front of his senior. He was dejected and wanted to understand if there was anything else he could do to make his case stronger.

The senior, wiser from his years playing the game, just told him to bide his time and make the most of available opportunities. He asked Adil to practice hard and not let go now, as his name was already being mentioned among the national team members.

As they left, Adil thanked the senior and felt a burden lift from his mind. There was some validation and a certain relief knowing he was on the right track.

He decided that he will focus on his journey and enjoy it. Milestones will come when they will.

The road wouldn’t be easy. But whatever turns it may take, he was on it. He was getting closer to making it count…

Why too serious?

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

There are too many things in life that we take too seriously.

And in that quest of taking ourselves too seriously, we often forget to enjoy life…

The past week, a colleague who was also a friend, passed away. He had been battling cancer for a long time.

As I received the news and saddened by it thought about my last meeting with him, I couldn’t help but reflect on his journey.

Especially the past few years, and his approach towards life!

In the most testing times, he was still full of life. It was as if he had made a resolution to let nothing affect his zest for life.

When someone battling with life on a daily basis shows that commitment, you stop and take notice. You wonder at the bravery. You smile at the tenacity.

So did I. But I never looked deeply enough to understand how commendable it was.

For I, lost in my own thoughts and problems, was too seriously involved in my life.

It was only in his passing, did he leave me a lasting lesson. To not be too serious. And to enjoy life come what may!

As I thought about this aspect through the last week, it became clear to me that I can afford to loosen up.

To enjoy life even when things are not going my way. To enjoy life even if I am not feeling well. And to enjoy life even if there isn’t much left of it.

For in that enjoyment is the essence of life. To live it. To experience it. And to see it through…

All Heart!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I think from my heart. That’s when I do best. It’s my strength.

I have claimed this before in word and letter. And felt it for sure.

Yet, as it often happens with us mortal beings, we forget our strengths. And deviate from the usual path.

That’s what I realised over the past few days. Twice!

On both those occasions, I had the chance to think from my heart. The situations demanded that I do so.

Still, somehow my mind weighed heavier on my heart in those moments. And I chose ‘rationally’!

My mind was probably too determined, because even after the choice, it didn’t let go of its chokehold on the reason for the decision.

So, I continued to operate without a question. My heart tugged at me a few times in between, but my mind brushed it off.

Eventually, my heart gave up and my mind won!

That clarity lasted only for a few days though. Through an interjection, which was like a jolt, I was snapped out of my state.

As soon as the fog lifted and the heart realised it had been tricked, I fell. I fell so hard that my heart wept. My eyes wallowed. And tears streaked down.

It was only then that I realised I had made an error in my choice in those moments. And how I had failed even after so much training and self awareness.

I realised how I had brushed off my heart’s pleas to reconsider. And how I had justified my choice to myself reluctantly.

But it was too late…

The choice had been made and the decision had kept me out of loop on the things that mattered more to me than what I left them for.

As I sat down on the second occasion, wiping my tears, it became clear to me that I need to retrain myself.

To believe in my strength. To acknowledge any nudge or thought that is asking me to reconsider my choices.

And to be all heart again…

Talk!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

The one thing that we are gifted with. And the one thing we don’t do enough of.

Even when we can. Even when we should…

In fact, even though we have this clarity at the back of our minds, it’s surprising that other emotions or distractions stop us from doing so.

During the past two weeks, there were quite a few instances when I felt how this basic skill had helped me. And each time, as I realised its importance, I couldn’t believe that the realisation wasn’t the first time.

The first was when I had to talk about a recent failure at work. It was hard. Even though I had already communicated the mistake and the learning to some people via email.

But because I had already talked about it earlier, I had normalised the failure in my mind. Talking had helped me tide over the disappointment.

So, when I recounted the mistake and the learning, I wasn’t hesitant or defensive. And because the team had seen me come out honestly, I felt they appreciated that there was willingness to learn and do better.

The second was when I was having a conversation with my brother. We were talking about a personal decision that he was making. I wasn’t very sure about it when I heard it. So, I was pushing back.

My brother was however very clear about the reason for his decision. I could have shut up and let him decide but because we trust each other, I continued to ask.

As we discussed further, he was able to explain his rationale to me. We finally agreed that it was the best choice right now, decision taken. Only made possible because we talk a lot and there is trust between the two.

The last one was when my wife and I were having a frank conversation this weekend. We both believe in talking things out. In good times and in not so good times.

As we went deeper into the discussion, I knew it wasn’t going to be an easy one. But having an understanding that we only gain by speaking our minds, we didn’t say away.

Eventually, we talked about a couple of difficult things and asked each other uncomfortable questions. It wasn’t easy but we didn’t stop talking. And that helped us get to a better place from where we started.

Why am I recounting these? Because I think it’s important for us to talk more. To hear each other. And to build our bonds through real conversations.

After all, better said than done…

The ship had sailed…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

The day was fine. In fact, it was probably the best weather of the month.

Ajit, however, was distraught. He had been sitting at the park bench for sometime, looking at people walking past him happily.

There was no happiness in his heart. His wife was admitted in the nearby hospital, and he had just received confirmation that she was on her deathbed.

He had no one to share the grief with. They had no children. His siblings had passed away. His wife had a sister but they hadn’t spoken in a long time.

Ajit kept thinking about who else he could speak with. They had some friends but they were away due to the ongoing festival and he didn’t want to reach out to them and spoil their mood. They could always meet Malti once they returned.

His mind went back to his sister-in-law, Jahnvi. She was younger than Malti by a couple of years and lived in another city in the north.

The sisters had been quite close and the first few years had been a blast. They often planned vacations together and always made it a point to spend the new year with their parents. Ajit had always accompanied Malti on those trips.

However, a few years after their parents had passed away, the two sisters had an ugly fight. It was during their usual new year trip, which in that particular instance had turned sour.

The two sisters exchanged heated arguments with no holds barred. Malti was so distraught that she had compelled Ajit to leave immediately.

Ajit always thought that somehow they will make up. But neither approached the other. He had asked Malti to forgive and forget but the words she had heard that day had inserted themselves deeply within her heart. And she was not ready to forgive.

She had also said a lot of things that Jahnvi must have gotten hurt. And she also couldn’t forget. So, without any communication or forgiveness, the two families had grown apart…

Ajit, sitting at that bench that day, wanted to reach out to Jahnvi. He knew it could help heal a deep wound inflicted on both.

After much thought, he dialled her number. Someone else answered. She had changed her phone number. He tried his brother-in-law. Same result.

He wasn’t connected with them on any other platform. Nor to anyone else who could have helped.

All ties had been severed. The ship had sailed! The scar remained…

“Hard work”

~ Rishi ~ 2 Comments

An important but underrated quality! Something that we don’t appreciate often enough.

A lot of us talk about doing smart work. In today’s age, that is all that matters. Getting more done in lesser time with lesser resources.

But smart work often forces us to consider how to optimise. What if we didn’t know well enough what we are optimising?

I have often wondered about how for our kids, learning the right things is more important than learning to optimise. And how do we make that happen.

So, when our daughter had to go through a 2-month project in Grade 5, I was waiting to see how it pans out. And how the school guides the kids in their approach.

All through the project duration, we were informed and updated on a need to know basis. Naturally, our curiosity was heightened by the time the kids had to present their work.

The one thing I did observe during the first few weeks, and which became evidently clear in the last two weeks of the project, was that the project involved a lot of work.

Well, that was expected. What we didn’t know was how would the kids approach it and how would they come out on the other side.

So, with only a little idea of how things had come out, we went to the school for the exhibition. What I saw was quite fascinating!

The kids had done some really hard work to put things together. Their basic research was quite thorough and their exhibits were impressive.

What was more encouraging was the depth and breadth of the presentations. As we visited the exhibits and talked to them, the kids excitedly demonstrated their work. With a lot of pride.

The school had made them toil in their groups. They had been made to do things properly. And it was showing in how they were talking about it.

There were no optimisations. There were no shortcuts. Just plain, simple, old school approach to doing things deeply.

As the day came to an end, I could observe most of them were happy. With their effort. With themselves and for their group.

They had successfully cleared the test. More importantly, they had learnt the value of hard work.

And hopefully, lessons that will be embedded in their young minds forever…

Spot the difference.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

We always will be different from others. That’s a fact. But we don’t treat it as such. And that often leads to differences!

The past two weeks, I was traveling for work. During that trip, I met a lot of people at a conference, from different nationalities. Apart from the usual work-related discussions, there were also some great conversations about personal stuff as we compared notes on a multitude of things ranging from life to culture to values.

Guess what was the common thing? Everyone was different. In terms of their outlook, their perspective, their values, their beliefs, etc.

Over the weekend, I also observed many a people while roaming around markets and in restaurants. Those observations tallied with my personal interactions.

And yet, as I reflected upon those insights and my behavior, I found that while I inherently understand that others are different than me, I often expect them to behave the way I do. Or understand me instantly.

As I dug deeper through my interactions and observations, I also found a few common themes. Shared values, beliefs, perspectives. Those are what allowed us to mingle with each other and have those myriad conversations. Those are what enabled us to understand each other even though we are from different countries.

There seems to be a dichotomy here, until you realise that there isn’t. This is how it is meant to be.

For, even though we may have different ideologies and values, we mostly want to treat others the way we would like ourselves to be treated. We don’t hesitate to talk and share perspectives, even though they may differ. And we mostly don’t walk in with a closed mind, as otherwise it may be difficult to even have a conversation!

We agree to disagree. We listen to other’s perspectives and then either assimilate or discard them. We hold on to our values, well mostly, until something earth-shattering chnages them.

So, even though we are different in many aspects, it is worth remembering that what we believe in, value, and aspire for may be different than the others. But that shouldn’t lead us to a corner if we spot differences.

Instead, it should help us recognise that there is an opportunity for sharing and learning from each other…

Honour.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I have often wondered how strongly do our deeds binds us to our words. Why would I do as I say? And what if I am not able to honour them?

This past week, on the work front, this aspect came into sharp focus for me personally.

Something I had promised didn’t go through. It was a setback. When I learnt of it, the first reaction was of disbelief and frustration. Why did it have to happen!

Then, as the aftermath of the situation dawned on me, I felt stifled. The next couple of hours, wading through anguish, I kept on thinking about how I had not been able to honour my words.

It was the worse I have felt in a few months. Not being able to do something about it immediately further added salt to the wound.

But as my mind calmed down and I started thinking about the entire episode, I realised that I had not honoured the basic premise on top of which I had made my promises.

I had been too confident that things will go as planned. That confidence didn’t allow me to look for alternatives even when the deadline was fast approaching.

I had depended on others promises, only to learn that they couldn’t be honoured, on the last day. And in doing so, I had not left any room to honour my words to others!

It has been a stark reminder. To not accept promises on face value. And to always have alternatives to ensure my words can be honoured.

But as they say about mistakes, “if it happens to teach you something, it’s worth it”, I am imbibing this as a lesson.

Shaken but not stirred…

The art of navigation

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Hi! I am a motorbike from India. And I am writing this to you, my beloved reader, from the confines of a garage.

For those of you who read some amazing chronicles written by my riders, I must remind you that I am still the same good ol’ bike. And for those of you who romanticised riding me, watching someone in the movies, let me promise you that there are still thrills to be had riding me.

But I am writing this note to you for something more basic. To appeal to you to save me. From ignominy.

Why? You may wonder. Let me tell you.

You see, when I started riding everywhere all those years ago, my partners (riders) loved me immensely and took care of me like their family member. They used to be careful driving me around, taking pride in being a motorbike rider.

Then, as times changed, more and more of those sophisticated riders switched to cars for their everyday activities. I became a leisure toy for some, while for others I was relegated to their garage, or worse still, sold off.

Nowadays, I am being driven around mostly by people who are in a hurry. Those who want to beat the traffic on the roads and whoosh past everyone. They see me only as a utility vehicle, secretly still wishing they had a car.

So, they drive as if they are possessed by a spirit. “Get me there quickly” is their motto and they swish and whoosh past anyone and everyone. No regards to how others are driving, or who they are. Such is the hurry that some of them are fine with even jumping on to footpaths or drive on the wrong side of the road.

Then, there are those who are navigating the roads as if they are playing roadrash, the game that made me famous with the cool kids of the 90’s. So, they twist me at odd angles, without any respect for me. Sometimes, I brush off against other vehicles, who call me names.

And that’s the butt of my problem. When the fellow citizens walking or driving alongside see these riders commit these acts, it is I who get sullied. “These bikes are a nuisance”, I heard one saying. Another recalled how she had almost been overrun by one a few days back.

I can only look at those exasperated faces, for I am only a machine being driven around. Without intelligence. For now.

Actually, I am waiting for all this AI and Machine Intelligence to come to my rescue. I would then have the power to not do anything wrong. And hopefully, I will regain my respect among the few enthusiasts who still wish they had a bike…

Or perhaps, if you read this and like it, maybe for the time being it may give some intelligence to all those who ought to treat their bikes with dignity!